Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I'm exhausted. Really exhausted. It has only been 7 weeks and I'm about to give up. I wished I was stronger so that I can persevere longer. But I'm losing hope, strength, and passion. I'm getting even more confused than ever. I go to work everyday for the sake of doing so. I complete my tasks because I have to. I don't find any value in work anymore. I loathe the huge pile of outstanding work awaiting for me every morning. And it just keeps piling up.
I've got to end this misery soon.
It's about time I decide about my career path and put these thoughts into action.
I'm exhausted. Really exhausted. It has only been 7 weeks and I'm about to give up. I wished I was stronger so that I can persevere longer. But I'm losing hope, strength, and passion. I'm getting even more confused than ever. I go to work everyday for the sake of doing so. I complete my tasks because I have to. I don't find any value in work anymore. I loathe the huge pile of outstanding work awaiting for me every morning. And it just keeps piling up.
I've got to end this misery soon.
It's about time I decide about my career path and put these thoughts into action.
♥ ♥ ♥
Monday, May 24, 2010
Enjoy the story. (:
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.
One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"
Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.
When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."
Enjoy the story. (:
Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.
One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.
Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."
Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.
Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"
Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.
Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.
When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."
♥ ♥ ♥
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I'm terribly disappointed in myself. May I find the inner will to do so one day.
I'm terribly disappointed in myself. May I find the inner will to do so one day.
♥ ♥ ♥
Monday, May 17, 2010
At the end of the day, I'm still struggling with where my passion lies. I'm indeed very, very lost. I never knew I will be facing such uncertainties one day.
May I find "my calling" soon.
At the end of the day, I'm still struggling with where my passion lies. I'm indeed very, very lost. I never knew I will be facing such uncertainties one day.
May I find "my calling" soon.
♥ ♥ ♥
Sunday, May 16, 2010
After reading Sumiko Tan's column in The Sunday Times today, I realised that I have cherophobia, that is, fear of happiness. I strive for happiness, yet I am afraid when it comes knocking on my door. How ironic.
Quoting from her article, "A character in a Japanese movie once said that humans are cowards in the face of happiness. It takes courage to hold on to happiness. Courage - and the ability to conquer your fear and take a leap into the great unknown."
Am I ready to face my fears and stop being an escapist? Am I ready to take a road less travelled?
At the same time, I find myself standing at the same crossroads of my life again, thinking about my career, my future. Is this what I really want? I know I have to make my decision fast, and not be wishy-washy about it. What my sis said does hold some truth; if i want to quit, I must do so fast. If I drag any longer, it will be tough for me to get out of it.
It all boils down to: What do I really want to do, to be, and to have? It's time to face the truth and search my heart for the answer. Iris, you can!
On another note, I miss Japan so much. I want to be back there again, to view the cherry blossoms, to bask in the cool weather, and most of all, to savour the lovely spread of authentic Jap cuisine. Next year, perhaps? (:
May be for the most part, nothing lasts forever.
After reading Sumiko Tan's column in The Sunday Times today, I realised that I have cherophobia, that is, fear of happiness. I strive for happiness, yet I am afraid when it comes knocking on my door. How ironic.
Quoting from her article, "A character in a Japanese movie once said that humans are cowards in the face of happiness. It takes courage to hold on to happiness. Courage - and the ability to conquer your fear and take a leap into the great unknown."
Am I ready to face my fears and stop being an escapist? Am I ready to take a road less travelled?
At the same time, I find myself standing at the same crossroads of my life again, thinking about my career, my future. Is this what I really want? I know I have to make my decision fast, and not be wishy-washy about it. What my sis said does hold some truth; if i want to quit, I must do so fast. If I drag any longer, it will be tough for me to get out of it.
It all boils down to: What do I really want to do, to be, and to have? It's time to face the truth and search my heart for the answer. Iris, you can!
On another note, I miss Japan so much. I want to be back there again, to view the cherry blossoms, to bask in the cool weather, and most of all, to savour the lovely spread of authentic Jap cuisine. Next year, perhaps? (:
May be for the most part, nothing lasts forever.
♥ ♥ ♥
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I have made up my mind. I'm going to end my misery and leave for good. On one hand I'm disapponted that I'm giving up so readily, yet I know if I continue to stay on, I'll feel very miserable.
So now begins the long and ardous process of searching for a greener pasture. Wish me luck! (:
I have made up my mind. I'm going to end my misery and leave for good. On one hand I'm disapponted that I'm giving up so readily, yet I know if I continue to stay on, I'll feel very miserable.
So now begins the long and ardous process of searching for a greener pasture. Wish me luck! (:
♥ ♥ ♥
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
♥ ♥ ♥
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Step 5 of "Reclaiming Your Happiness and Freedom": Choose Insecurity.
"Anyone in life can do what everyone else does, which is nothing "extra-ordinary". Do more than you think you can; take the step you think you can't.
Dare to leave security and comfort behind. The limits you have known are the ones you are secure and comfortable with. The ones you still have to explore are the ones that make you insecure and uncomfortable."
~ Taken from "The Little Manual of Happiness" by Vikas Malkani
Choose insecurity. Given any instances in life, I am certain that most of us will choose the familar over anything else. Like any other risk-adverse individuals, I am afraid of taking a step out of my comfort zone, afraid of making commitments, and afraid of failures. I like how I am now; how we are now.
I need time. Give me more time please, to step out of my comfort zone, to explore the unexplored limits and to leave security behind.
Step 5 of "Reclaiming Your Happiness and Freedom": Choose Insecurity.
"Anyone in life can do what everyone else does, which is nothing "extra-ordinary". Do more than you think you can; take the step you think you can't.
Dare to leave security and comfort behind. The limits you have known are the ones you are secure and comfortable with. The ones you still have to explore are the ones that make you insecure and uncomfortable."
~ Taken from "The Little Manual of Happiness" by Vikas Malkani
Choose insecurity. Given any instances in life, I am certain that most of us will choose the familar over anything else. Like any other risk-adverse individuals, I am afraid of taking a step out of my comfort zone, afraid of making commitments, and afraid of failures. I like how I am now; how we are now.
I need time. Give me more time please, to step out of my comfort zone, to explore the unexplored limits and to leave security behind.
♥ ♥ ♥
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Thank you DC. Your card and gift couldn't have come as timely as this. Thank you for believing in me all these while, when I don't even have faith in myself. Your encouragement and precious 'carrot' sure serves as a motivation for me to perform well and not let myself or anyone who believes in me down.
Thank you for your patient guidance. I will never forget your valuable teachings. I wish you all the best. May our paths cross again. (:
Thank you DC. Your card and gift couldn't have come as timely as this. Thank you for believing in me all these while, when I don't even have faith in myself. Your encouragement and precious 'carrot' sure serves as a motivation for me to perform well and not let myself or anyone who believes in me down.
Thank you for your patient guidance. I will never forget your valuable teachings. I wish you all the best. May our paths cross again. (:
♥ ♥ ♥
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I'm tired. Mentally tired. Being an escapist by sleeping my problems away is always much easier. May I find the inner courage to trudge on. Come what may.
Is it you I want, or just a notion of your heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?
I'm tired. Mentally tired. Being an escapist by sleeping my problems away is always much easier. May I find the inner courage to trudge on. Come what may.
Is it you I want, or just a notion of your heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?
♥ ♥ ♥
